April Fool's 2018

"'What? Loco? HERE? On Grenwog? And really, exploding eggs?'""—Warlic"April Fool's 2018, also known as "Egads, Exploding Eggs!", is a Rare quest released in 2018.

Summary
Even though it's the Grenwog Festival, Loco appears for his April Fool's Day pranks.

Dialogue
<>

<>: Hello, Twilly! Are you excited for the Grenwog Festival?

Twilly: Hiyas! I love holidays! Good luck finding those eggs!

<>: Yes, there’s nothing like finding eggs on –

???: THE DAY OF FOOLS!!

<>: Uhm… Twilly? It’s the Grenwog Festival. I just said that.

Twilly: That wasn’t me!

<>: Huh? But there’s only us here.

Twilly: I have a very bad feeling…

Loco appears.

Loco: Guess who’s back?!

<>: Lucky O’LepraKhan?

Loco: WHAT?

<>: You know, that rogue drakel general that plagued us three years in a row? The one that enhanced the Leprechauns with his famous almagi-scichemy™ to turn gold into fuel for their war machine to take over the world?

Loco: I KNOW who that was! Clearly your audience doesn’t if you felt the need to explain such an obscure villain!! Besides, it’s the wrong holiday, you dolt!

<>: I was really hoping that of all the villains brought back, it would be him instead of…

Loco: VILLAIN? You DARE compare the demi-god of mischief and fortune to some pathetic lizard that tried three years in a row?! The wretch even tried time travel and failed miserably!

<>: He’s still a far more memorable character than you are.

Loco turns red.

Loco: Ghkk… *sputters*… *deep breath*

Loco goes back to normal.

Twilly: Looks like he was steaming…

Loco: I make the punchlines around here!

Twilly disappears.

<>: What did you do to Twilly?

Loco: Don’t worry about him, he’s still HANGING around… by a thread!

<>

Twilly: Now Twilly knows what a pinata must feel like.

<>

<>: Enough! What are you doing here? Where have you been? Why are you here? And probably most importantly, HOW are you here? It’s Grenwog!

Loco: Oh sure, NOW you want to know about my backstory. Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried stealing MY holiday!

<>: What? Grenwog isn’t about you.

Loco: It is NOT Grenwog! Your prank has gone on long enough!

<>: Yes it is! Those monsters approaching are clearly Grenwog Festival themed!

BATTLE: WERE-HERE

BATTLE: SWAMP TROG/RAZORWING

Full Heal

BATTLE: FROGZARD/SWAMP TROG

BATTLE: FROGZARD/SWAMP TROG

Full Heal

<>: *huff* See?

Loco: I don’t know how you managed to pull this off, but rest assured, NO ONE out pranks me!

<<You>>: It’s not a prank! Why would I be pulling a prank in the first place?

Loco: As I said earlier, because it’s the Day of Fools!

<<You>>: What? That’s impossible. I just showed you the Grenwog-exclusive monsters.

Loco: Then to answer one of your inane questions, explain how I am here!

<<You>>: That’s… huh. You haven’t figured out a way to release your bindings to be anywhere you please, have you?

Loco: Would we even HAVE this conversation if that had happened?

<<You>>: True… and your former minions have long stopped their pranking ways.

Loco: Do not speak of such sorrow! Today is a day of amusement! MY amusement! Not yours! Now cease this garish festival before I get really mad.

<<You>>: Wait, you haven’t already done that yet?

Loco: While the sheer audacity of even ATTEMPTING to out prank me has raised my ire, I will give credit that you have done a remarkable job. I can’t even detect what magic was done. Who did you get to help you with this?

<<You>>: It happens every year with everyone’s help.

Loco: Oh, so you don’t want to reveal your tricks? Very well! Since you cherish this charade so much, allow me to liven things up!

Loco turns red.

Loco: Gaze in wonder, hero, as your little festival will have rotten egg all over the place!

Loco disappears.

<<You>>: You know, that was an awfully evil laugh – GREAT GOGGLEY MOGGLEY! The Festival! I need to see what he did! Oh wait, I better go grab Twilly off that cliff first!

A short while later…

<<You>>: ROBINA! YOU’RE HERE! And… normal… *pants*

Robina Hood: Uhm… yes, I am?

<<You>>: Has anything strange happened?

Robina Hood: You mean something outside of the usual shenanigans for Grenwog? Nope.

<<You>>: Odd. I could have sworn that he had done something here.

Robina Hood: Everything’s normal. Just look at that Grenwog, headed right for you!

BATTLE: GRENWOG

Full heal

<<You>>: Annoying yes, but pretty normal for Grenwog Festival. Maybe I am just overreacting.

Robina Hood: Here, just look at this egg I just rescued!

The egg explodes.

<<You>>: OW!

Robina Hood: Oh my gosh! What just happened?? The eggs have never exploded before!

<<You>>: I think I have a good idea of what’s going on. Robina, where’s the egg stockpile you have?

Robina Hood: Oh no, you don’t! You’re not getting any of my eggs for the Grenwog shop! You have to earn them like everyone else!

<<You>>: Robina, the egg you just handed me exploded. If there’s more of these exploding eggs in a large pile, it could blow up the town!

Robina Hood: Eep! Well, I already spent my eggs, except for that one.

<<You>>: Oh no, the Grenwog shop! If it has all those eggs inside it, then…

Robina Hood: Are you sure that one egg wasn’t a fluke?

There’s an explosion in the distance.

<<You>>: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that it’s not a fluke.

Robina Hood: That was a serious explosion. Do you have a plan to stop them from exploding?

<<You>>: No, but I know someone who does!

Robina Hood: Who? It’s not that Lucky drakel guy, is it?

<<You>>: Like a great archmage, Warlic is there!

Warlic appears.

Warlic: How did I get summoned here? I was trying to inventory my shop –

<<You>>: No time! Loco is loose and is wreaking havoc on Grenwog with exploding eggs! We need help!

Warlic: What? Loco? HERE? On Grenwog? And really, exploding eggs? That’s it?

<<You>>: Yes! He keeps claiming that today is the Day of Fools! As for other surprises, I haven’t really found any –

An egg is thrown at Warlic.

<<You>>: That’s back too, I guess.

Warlic: Charming. Fortunately I anticipated such hijinks returning some dark day, and I have the materials for the containment spell at the ready. I will need some time to prepare it, however.

<<You>>: How do we stop the eggs from exploding?

Warlic: Boil them.

<<You>>: What?

Warlic: The eggs clearly explode because of a reality shift that has replaced all the were-bunnies inside the eggs with explosions. However, the eggs themselves seem able to contain the explosion until the shell breaks. Ergo, you must boil them to harden the egg.

<<You>>: Oh. What if we just put them in a room with a lot of pillows and stuff?

Warlic: Nonsense. Such a fortress would undoubtedly attract the attention of the Grenwogs. One mistake while fighting them will result in the destruction of Battleon.

<<You>>: But boiling them takes three minutes, and that is a REALLY long time! I hate watching it and the egg not boiling in the water!

Robina Hood: [Name], if you can hold off the monsters roaming around, I’ll go round up the other Grenwog Festivalers. Together we’ll round up all the eggs.

2 BATTLES: WERE-HERES

Full heal

BATTLE: RAZOR WING

BATTLE: WERE-HERE

Full heal

<<You>>: Are y’all done yet?

Robina Hood: The water hasn’t even boiled yet!

<<You>>: Gadzooks, this is taking forever! I’ll just go beat Loco senseless like I’ve done in years past. Where is that jokester?!

Loco appears.

Loco: PRANKSTER, prankster! And you only won those fights because I was amused by your actions. You won’t even be able to defeat my latest creation!

BATTLE: EGGSPLOSIVE HANDBASKET

Full heal

<<Scene: Outside Battleon.>>

Loco: Still alive? I’m shocked.

<<You>>: You underestimate me, and now you’re going to pay!

Loco: I’m sorry, I misspoke. I meant to say, YOU’RE shocked!

Loco shocks you and reduces your HP to 1.

<<You>>: OW! First exploding eggs and now bad lightning puns??

Loco: What? You’re still standing? How is that possible? You should be madly twitching on the ground from the electricity flowing through you – too shocked to even speak, let alone stand!

<<You>>: Clearly you’ve lost your A-material while you’ve been gone.

Loco: I supposed I should at least acknowledge your presence with a fight. It’d be anti-climatic if we didn’t have one. Here, have a full heal, on the house.

Loco drops a house on you and heals you.

<<You>>: Why did that hurt if it was meant to heal me?

Loco: Because it amuses me. As is your attempt to take me on.

<<You>>: I can beat you like I did before!

Loco: *snickers* I can’t believe you’re still claiming that.

<<You>>: Huh?

Loco: You’ve never really beat me that time.

<<You>>: Huh? I swore –

Loco: No, the YOU simply cleaned up my mess.

<<You>>: But I thought –

Loco: Of course you did! It was all a part of my plan. You put up such a struggle against me. I was moved to concede defeat. However, you never actually fought me.

<<You>>: You aren’t that important. Last year you were gone and it was the best Day of Fools ever. We celebrated it by not celebrating it!

Loco: …Come again?

<<You>>: It was the best Day of Fools ever! We just laid around all day and gained experience and gold casually while sipping lemonade! We just relaxed all day, quite lazily.

Loco: …That’s it?

<<You>>: Yep, that’s it. We called it LazyQuest.

Loco turns red and steam shoots out of his ears.

Loco: YOU DARE TURN THIS SACRED DAY OF PRANKING INTO A LAZY PARODY OF INCREMENTAL GAMES?

<<You>>: Well, I didn’t exactly make it that way, but –

Loco: You. Are. Going. Down. To. Heck.

BATTLE: LOCO

Loco defeats you.

Loco: I will admit, your attempts to defeat me amused me. Pointless, but amusing.

<<You>>: I… what was I thinking?

Loco: Your hubris has gotten the better of you. Now the question is, do I continue torturing you, or just finish the job? You HAVE stopped my fun before, but you’re also amusing. Hmm…

<<You>>: Like a great archmage, Warlic is there!

Warlic appears.

<<You>>: Warlic! Is the spell ready?

Warlic: Do you really need to ask me that?

<<You>>: Sorry, that fight must have gone to my head…

Warlic: Fortunately for you, Loco is in a weakened state right now, which is why you were able to survive his lightning blast.

<<You>>: Weakened?

Loco: Ahhh, that explains everything then. I thought it was odd that I only concocted one new monster to ruin your little Grenwog Festival. I will admit I haven’t quite felt myself today. I wish I knew why.

Warlic: It’s simple, today is Grenwog –

Loco: For the last time, it is the DAY OF FOOLS!

Warlic: – AND the Day of Fools, as I was about to say.

<<You>> and Loco: ?

Warlic: Yes, I know the timing is extremely improbable for two such unrelated holidays to overlap on the very same day, but somehow it has occurred.

Loco: If Grenwog and April Fool’s really are on the same day, then the overlap would be too much for the planet to handle at full power, which means – !

Warlic: Exactly. Lore is only capable of handling one holiday at a time, after all. So, on this rare occasion, it compromised to let both holidays happen, each at reduced festivity.

<<You>>: Wait, the planet did? How does that make sense?

Warlic: Later. Allow me to deal with this nuisance now that the spell is complete!

Loco: No, not again! All this prattle was merely a distraction! I really AM off my A-game today. But don’t worry, I’ll be back again, when there isn’t another holiday to ruin it! And then we’ll see who laughs last!

Warlic casts the spell and Loco disappears.

<<You>>: How come no one remembered today was the Day of Fools?

Warlic: After last year, can you blame them? It was such a relaxing, lazy day! The lethargy caused us to forget that it comes around once a year.

<<You>>: That… actually makes sense. I don’t suppose there’s a reward shop around here?

Robina approaches.

Robina: It’s over here next to Twilly! I found him while looking for eggs, and he helped us to get the giant cauldron to hard boil the eggs.

Warlic: Wait, what cauldron? Not MY cauldron??

Robina: Who else has a giant cauldron around here?

Warlic: GREAT GOGGLY MOGGLY, MY PRECIOUS!

Weapons
Red Herring Flail

Spells
Loco Eggsplosion