Manifestation: the Coming Dark/Chapter 1

Memory is a funny thing, fickle. Often I struggle to recall a name or face for hours to no avail, only to have it come to me unbidden when I am thinking of anything else.

The lost memories of youth can fill more pages, I am sure, than the memories we do recall. We forget more in one lifetime than a thousand men ever remember. Yet we struggle against this loss of knowledge fitfully. Something about forgetting terrifies. While the darkness of forgetfulness can be a blessed escape, the unwilling stealing of our experiences, of our own pasts, scares us deeply.

Perhaps it is because we know that if we forget, we do not learn. We lose something of ourselves when we forget. It is with this in mind that I sit determined. What I have to say must be recorded, if only for my own recollection. If only so that in days to come, I have something solid to show that it was real. My experiences were not imaginary.

Telling my experiences will not be easy. Often, I have started only to stop midway. After a struggle, in starts and fits, I recorded what has come before. That, however, was in a different language and style entirely from what I know employ. Much of that has to do with being on the outside, some of it has to do with fear.

I can only begin to think how this story will go. I have no doubt that it shall come out in a mix of voices and tenses. It shall not be polished, not professional, but it will be mine and I shall finish.

Some things the reader, even if only myself in some ages hence, will come to wonder how I came to know, things outside of my own direct experiences. Yet I have had time to put together their tale, to record, so that it may not be forgotten. In the time that I had, I was able to ask the needed questions and fill in the gaps. Some of the information gained was quite expensive, but it was acquired.

So now, I have only to record the tale, to begin. For all my talk about loss of memory being fearful, this task is somehow even harder. I am filled with trepidation. Yet I must do what I have started, finish what I have started, so bear with my fitfulness as I take you to the tale's beginning.